Bill Simmons felt the need to mark the 34th anniversary of the first Halloween movie by taking his son to a place where part of the movie was filmed in a Patriots jersey and a Michael Myers mask. IS BILL SIMMONS NOT THE COOLEST DAD THERE IS!? OF COURSE HE IS! NO ONE DENIES THIS!

(Hey, does anyone else bring their 5 year old son to the house in Hollywood where they filmed the last 45 minutes of the original “Halloween,” put a Michael Myers mask on him and take pictures… or is it just me?)

We’re sure his kid had a wonderful time dressing up as a killer he doesn’t know from a movie he’s never seen. Of course his kid is wearing a Wes Welker jersey. OF COURSE HE IS. You just know Bill faced the kid toward the house and whispered in his ear, “Now, when you start the stabbing, you go for the DAHHHKKKIIIEEEE farst. THE DAHHHKKIEEEEES MUST AWLWAYS GO FARST IN HORRAH MOVIES! THAT’S ONE OF YO-AH DAD’S 55 COMMANDMENTS FO-AH HORRAH MOVIES!”

– Michael Vick remains the starter for the Eagles. They play the Saints on Sunday, so expect to hear about how he’s turned it around by this time next week.

– Dwight Freeney wants to hit Peyton Manning. That’s good, because I want Dwight Freeney to hit Peyton Manning.

– Adrian Peterson signed autographs for some kids then asked them to sign autographs for him. WEIRD! Also, he wanted to know if they could get him a pair of Ed Reed’s gloves.


– Alex Smith was named the NFC Offensive Player of the Week, in case a superstorm wasn’t enough to convince you the end of the world is nigh.

– Jay Cutler said he wasn’t cursing at fans at the end of the first half of Sunday’s game. He was mad at the Bears offense. Eh, I don’t concern myself much with the reasons why, so long as we get more Catler boo-boo kitty hissy face.