Moonrise Kingdom comes out on DVD/Blu-Ray today. I intend to purchase it. Yes, yes, I know. It’s super precious and full of twee boners, even for a Wes Anderson movie. Nevertheless, I enjoyed it enough that I’m buying it. I’m not trying to convince you to like this movie. What I am doing is putting on a bitchfest about how movies are made available after they leave theaters. Because video stores are a thing of the past, renting movies means either tracking down a Redbox, or more often for me, firing up the Zune service on my Xbox and streaming stuff on my TV. Even if the service is somewhat more expensive than a Redbox, it also gets some movies before they hit theaters. It also doesn’t require me to leave my house, which is nice.
Anyway, a few weeks ago, Moonrise Kingdom appeared in the Zune menu. Not for rental, but exclusively for purchase. Bear in mind, the movie wasn’t available in stores yet. I really wanted to see it again, but I couldn’t rent it and didn’t want to buy the digital download version. I could watch it if I bought it from this service. Even if it cost the same amount, I would rather have the solid disc copy, which doesn’t take up space on my Xbox hard drive and isn’t obsolete the moment I inevitably have to buy a new gaming system.
I’m certain this is done because of agreements between various entertainment execs, intended to prey on impulsive people who can’t wait a few weeks for a stupid movie they like. But I’m an impulsive person and I don’t appreciate you forcing me to fight my idiot instincts like this. Just release the disc copy at the same time so I don’t have to grumble at my Xbox for two weeks or live in a state of fear that I’m gonna drunk and download it anyway.
The Sean Taylor Memorial Meast for Week 6 is Richard Sherman. The Seahawks cornerback did indeed have an interception in the win over the Patriots, but we bestow the honor mostly in recognition of his towering triumph in the trolling arts, targeting Troll Genius Tom Brady along with a bunch of irate Greatriots fans on Twitter. Sherman tweeted the above image after the win on Sunday. He deleted it, but left another up. He also kept this one up. As Ufford described it, “He also stayed online to respond to Pats fans’ inevitable responses of “3x Super Bowl winner!” etc. with “LOL you’re 3-3″. With the Niners looming on Thursday night, it’s a touch more shit-talking than I like, but kind of awesome nonetheless.
Also receiving consideration: Aaron Rodgers, Shonn Greene, Antrel Rolle, Robert Griffin III, Phillip Tanner
The Jeff George Memorial Least for Week 6 is Philip Rivers. You’re hard-pressed to commit
five six turnovers, make yourself victim of the biggest comeback in the history of Monday Night Football and avoid a designation of leastiness. Even though I bag on Laserface a lot on the site and he possesses many actual real-life qualities that make him hateable, I don’t bear any ill will toward Rivers. That’s probably because he’s just so fun to watch fail. We should be working toward which players have elite mockery production as opposed to boring things like stats and good objective performance. Marmalard is an elite mockable player.
Also receiving consideration: Jason Garrett, Ike Taylor, Alex Smith, Dez Bryant, Johnathan Joseph
I want more like this!
Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news & humor before everyone else.