Aaron Rodgers got poked in his right eye by Malcolm Jenkins during Sunday’s win over the Saints. Or was it a gouge(!?), because bounties. Anyway, Rodgers had to leave the game so Graham Harrell could come in to fumble a handoff. It wasn’t the first time that Rodgers had been raked in the eye playing quarterback. He also took a finger to the eye in high school that resulted in a scratched cornea and temporary loss of vision. Quarterbacking is bad for your health, you guys.

Rodgers has so far chaffed at the idea of wearing a face shield. But he’s down to rock an eyepatch because Aaron Rodgers is big into pirate cosplay.

“You know, I have always enjoyed dressing up like a pirate, wearing an eye patch I think would be awesome and would add some legitimacy to my toughness,” Rodgers said. “It would have been sweet to go back in the game with an eye patch and lead us to victory. People aren’t wearing eye patches as often anymore. What is up with that?”

YAARRRRR ‘TIS NOT A LAKE IN THE UPPER MIDWEST THAT DOES NOT CALMLY SWAY IN CONSTANT TERROR OF THE GALLEON OF DREAD PIRATE ROBERTS. NARY A DUCK BOAT HAS TOURED THOSE WATERS WITHOUT BECOMING CANNON FODDER FOR HIS FLEET. MEN HAVE BEEN KNOWN TO EXPIRE AT THE SIGHT OF THE GLEAN OFF HIS INVISIBLE BELT. LEGEND SAYS IT WAS A GIFT OF A LAKE SIREN WHO WISHED TO MATE WITH ROBERTS, BUT ONLY TASTED HIS BLADE. THE SIREN WAS SO SHOCKED, SHE CHECKED THE WOUND ONCE. THEN SHE CHECKED IT A SECOND TIME. YARRRRR AND AN ADVERTISING CAMPAIGN SLOGAN FOR INSURANCE WAS BORN THAT DAY, IT WAS.