In terms of football, the first half was baked ass.

As far as reinforcing KSKharacters, this was about as rousing a success as a half could be. Jon Gruden is definitely high. He might have gotten his hands on the new LeBron James strain of heroin that’s hot in the streets. He had a lengthy monologue where he compared Cutler and Romo to Clint Eastwood and John Wayne. Doug Farrar is clearly a masochist because he took the trouble to transcribe the bit. Go read it if you feel like congealing the blood in your head.


Matt Forte’s return from injury lasted a single carry. Cutler has already been caught on camera walking away from his offensive coordinator in a huff. Hopefully NFL Films was on the scene to get the DDDDDOOOOONNNNNNN’TTTTTTTT CCCCCCAAAAAAARRRRRRRREEEEEE as he slunk away from Mike Tice. Just the kind of sulkiness we’ve come to associate with the famed outlaws of the Old West.

Tony Romo has thrown a pick six, because of course he has. Sure, it’s the fault of Dez Bryant for running the wrong route, but that wasn’t outside the range of expected derps either.