Last week: 5-1
Overall: 14-11-1

So the gambling gods like pictures of cats with money? Then pictures of cats with money they shall receive. Make it happen, Cat Stacks!

New York Giants -8.5 vs. Cleveland Browns

The Browns have eked out some covers early in the season. Don’t let that dissuade you. They are terrible and I will continue to feel comfortable picking against them every week until I look foolish doing so. They managed to stay in last week’s game by some miracle, only to watch Brandon Weeden’s final throw sail 15 feet over the head of his intended target. Because that is a very Browns way to end a game.

Washington Redskins +2.5 (+110) vs. Atlanta Falcons.

The Redskins have a top ten rushing defense, probably because teams are too busy throwing the ball thirty yards down the field. And yet, I have a feeling. Call it a quasi-hunch. This is the week that Atlanta falls back down to earth the way they should have last week. Nothing about the matchup looks good for the Redskins, which makes it the perfect matchup. And when Atlanta jumps out to a three touchdown lead in the third quarter I can always turn on the Nationals.

Houston Texans -8 at New York Jets

Via RoboShark

This week, the role of LaRon Landry will be played by a boxing kangaroo. I promise that you will not notice a difference.

Seattle Seahawks +3 at Carolina Panthers

One more tough loss and Cam Newton will throw a full-on sideline tantrum. You know how kids cry so hard that they can’t breathe, and they start blowing snot bubbles out of their noses? It’s going to be like that, right up until Steve Smith slaps him into stunned silence. The NFL is great.

Baltimore Ravens -6 at Kansas City Chiefs

You know how you know when your team is totally fucked? When your fans are demanding that you ship out your starting quarterback to give Brady Quinn a chance to play.

Minnesota Vikings -5.5 vs. Tennessee Titans

By far the worst thing about this season (other than replacement refs) is the realization that Drew’s 9 win prediction for the Vikings is definitely going to pan out.

SEE, DREW? THIS IS WHAT YOU GET FOR TAKING RGIII IN THE KEEPER LEAGUE. I WILL TELL WILBON WHERE YOU LIVE!

Cincinnati Bengals -3 (-125) vs. Miami Dolphins

Be right back, have to go grind Cool Ranch onto every type of food I can find. It might even make Skyline chili palatable. Top that, Starter Wife.