Gif courtesy of LSUFreek, who makes dreams come true.

Last Week: 2-4-1
Overall: 22-22-2

Sigh.

New England Patriots -7 vs. St. Louis Rams

These two sides should put on a corker of a match, assuming Wembley holds up with 2500 kg of American footballing brutes treading all about the pitch.

Green Bay Packers -15 vs. Jacksonville Jaguars

If you missed out on your waiver claim to Rashad Jennings, don’t worry about it. You were probably going to lose anyway because your team is shitty. I hate fantasy football.

Cleveland Browns +3 vs. San Diego Chargers

Atari Bigby was a terrible college roommate, and he’s not such a great safety either.

Atlanta Falcons +1 at Philadelphia Eagles

Philly is favored for four reasons.

1. They’re at home.
2. People figure the Falcons are due for a loss.
3. The Eagles have a good track record following a bye week.
4. Gamblers think any of this dumb shit actually matters, even though the Eagles are a dumpster fire.

Washington Redskins +4.5 at Pittsburgh Steelers

Prop bets of the week

People get fired. Especially people who coach horrible football teams. The best part of it is that you can make easy money of of their professional failure. Think Ron Rivera is coaching his last season in Carolina? Of course you do. And if you put up $110 now, you’ll take profit $100 just as soon as that becomes official.

Want an even bigger lock? Look no further than Pat Shurmur, who is listed at -180 to get shitcanned by a new owner who already hates everything about his team.