49ers cornerback Tarell Brown was fined $5,250 for the crime of less than absolute adherence to the NFL’s dress code for wearing an undesignated sleeve color during San Francisco’s win over Detroit on Sunday night. Brown decided to share the official correspondence with the world through Twitter. The letter included log-in information for the NFL’s secured site for player fine appeals.

Using my elite HAXXOR skills picked up researching the 5Chan character, I entered the NFL’s site through an elaborate process of typing in that info. And, as if transported by a DirecTV fairy Eli Manning magical snowball, I was in. WHAT A FIND! CONFIDENTIAL NUGGETS! Actually, all I got was a phone number to call Merton Hanks this afternoon to discuss a specific uniform infraction. Anyway, I probably just got Brown fined again for leaking confidential information to the public. Or ensured myself a visit from the Ginger Hammer’s hired goons. Totally worth it!


I DIDN’T SAY IT!

/fears wrath