Darnell Dockett: Ay! Ay, Kobe! Let me talk at you a second.
Kevin Kolb: Kolb.
Kolb: My last name is Kolb. Pronounced cobb, like corn on the cobb.
Dockett: That right? Aw damn, that’s my bad, Kolb. Hey, I gotta tell you something. I know this Sunday means a lot to you. I heard you a Philly boy. That’s your hometown.
Kolb: I’m not actually from Philadelphia. I grew up in Texas. I just played for the Eagles for a couple of years before I came here.
Dockett: For real? I had this whole thing I was gonna say about how much I hate Philly and hate the Eagles. You would have appreciated it.
Dockett: Boy, it would have fired you up.
Kolb: I mean, we still gotta play them on Sunday. You might as well share it.
Dockett: Nah, it ain’t the same, man. You can’t fake that kind of emotion.
Kolb: I guess not.
Dockett: Anyway, I wanted to let you know that even though you injured, we gotta knock dem Philly boys on they ass. Been too long of people taking us lightly.
Kolb: I’m not injured.
Dockett: What? So they benched you and told the media you was injured? That’s f*cked, man. Just be real with people. That’s my philosophy. I’m real with people and that’s all I expect in return. Anyway, we got you this Sunday, Kolb.
Kolb: I don’t think you understand. I’m not benched and I’m not hurt. I am starting at quarterback on Sunday.
Dockett: Then they benched the other dude?
Kolb: No. He got hurt.
Kolb: The first game of the season.
Dockett: And he didn’t come back?
Kolb: Not yet.
Dockett: That was you playing last week?
Kolb: It was.
Dockett: But there wasn’t no interceptions or nothing.
Kolb: I know. I was happy about that.
Dockett: For real? No fooling, that was you?
Dockett: You serious?
Kolb: I am very serious.
[10 seconds of silence]
Dockett: Yo Whiz!
Ken Whisenhunt: Hey guys.
Dockett: Was this dude playing against the Patriots?
Whisenhunt: Oh yeah, that was him. Nice game, Kobe.
Kolb: It’s Kolb. Pronounced cobb, like –
Dockett: No shit?
Whisenhunt: That’s right.
Dockett: The whole game?
[10 more seconds of silence]
Dockett: All right. Well, keep on not f*cking up.
Whisenhunt: Gonna have to side with Darnell on this one.
Kolb: I’ll do my best.
Dockett: F*ck that. Just don’t f*ck up. I’mma remember you now, Colby.
I want more like this!
Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news and humor before everyone else.