This Is All Too Much
Peter King Thinks The Nation Should Take It Easy On The Cellahol

The Best Moments From Week 3 Sunday

By Christmas Ape / 09.24.12

What was truly the worst about the scab refs this week wasn't even the repeated examples of mind-bending incompetence or the protracted delays. It's that the endless, albeit necessary, hue and cry over the scabs obscures the fact that yesterday was a tremendous NFL Sunday without them. Granted, it would have been even better without them, but still. For as many frustrations as there were yesterday, there were just as many wonderful things

There were three overtime games going on at once during the early slate. Of course, if the scabs weren't turning games into minimum four-hour affairs, I might not have missed the entire first quarter of the 4 o'clock game I wanted to watch. Then again, there are certainly worse reasons for such delays. It wasn't just the overtime contests; games that ended in regulation had exciting finishes. Even Houston-Denver, which at one point had been a blowout, managed to be watchable into the last few minutes.

All told, I'm thankful for the great moments I got to experience, even while wishing a speedy departure/slow death on the scabs and Goodell.

Streaker

Since NBC was too chickenshit to show it on any camera except for their helicopter cam high above the stadium, here's a video someone took of the streaker in Baltimore last night. Apparently, the guy's name is Baltimore Batman, in case the cape didn't make that clear. He has a Twitter feed and an anti-bullying message. Disruptive fans, so progressive these days.

Man gets hit by football

It works on so many levels, etc., etc.

I still applaud NBC's commitment to depicting Tom Brady in ridiculous poses. Not that he's ever not game for that.

Fuck You, Joe Philbin

Joe Philbin iced the Jets kicker on the game-winner and all he accomplished was nullifying a blocked kick by the Dolphins. The Jets then got another crack at the kick and connected. Philbin then mildly lectured the team in the locker room about how swear words were responsible for the loss and Miami really needs to clean up its locker room chatter if it wants to be a serious contender.

Simmons Fapped To This

Ian Eagle was probably just referring to Janikowski's leg motion when he said "sweeps the leg" during the game-winning field goal against the Steelers. But fans are so used to seeing Simmons drop Karate Kid references ad nauseum that we just assume that's what he meant. Because, hey, it actually works in this context.

Dan Fouts Was In A Greased Pig Contest

Antonio Brown had a bit of a problem not dropping his dick/the ball in the dirt against the Raiders. That he recovered his first fumble in the end zone was an impressive feat unto itself. He wasn't quite so fortunate the second time. Also, the second time, Dan Fouts neglected to talk about how he was in a greased pig contest one time. This better not be a joke. Eagle teases that CBS has video of it. If so, you better cue that shit up for next week.

Meet Me In Scabville


One of the scab refs referred to St. Louis as "St. Louie" when announcing a penalty. It's like calling Atlanta the Red, but with more old timesy charm. Someone had pulled video of this, but the NFL apparently yanked it. Yet all the other goofs remain. Because controversial calls mean nothing compared to outmoded ways of referring to NFL markets.

King Ogletree

via

Scabs don't just indirectly injure players by letting dangerous play go unchecked. They're now actually tripping players with their hats. Only a matter of time until a lineman gets the Orlando Brown treatment.

HURRR DE HURRDY HURRRRR

From KSK's top kommenter, Otto Man:

Note to Siragusa:

Morbidly obese Italian men should not wear red checkerboard shirts. You look like a fucking pizzeria.

MOAR Sabol tributes

The NFL had a Sabol tribute play before the kickoff at each stadium. Those were fine, but the more affecting clip was this ad buy that the league did with a camera panning up from the stadium to the heavens.

Teebs doink

via

Mark Sanchez is amusingly inaccurate, part 18 squillion.

Make a stump of the Schaub

via

Matt Schaub takes this brutal hit, yet it's Pey-Pey's head that is more freakishly discolored. FetusheadAIDS!

Sanu for six

The Redskins are still a joke, but their games are at least considerably more watchable than they've been in years. Even if a lot of those amazing plays are being pulled off against them. To their credit, the Washington had the fifth 0-yard pick-six in the history of the game. They mounted a valiant, if unsuccessful, late comeback that was torpedoed in part by Kyle Shanahan being a pissy little shit to the scab refs. Good thing for Kyle, then, that Bill Belichick would try to arm bar a scab later in the day.


Music City Miracle

via

The Lions-Titans game had its own small gallery of awesome moments. For starters, there was another Music City Miracle. Only this time, it was legal. How refreshing!

That Nate Washington?

Nate Washington made an outstanding catch, which is not entirely out of the ordinary for him. It's the regular shit he struggles with.

via

Hail Mary

Lest we forget that the Lions also pulled off a successful Hail Mary in this game, here it is. Too bad it only served to force overtime so the Lions could run a 4th down attempt they didn't intend to run. Which was grand comedy of its own, to be sure.

Gabbert does a good thing, I guess

via

I guess worth including for that Blaine Gabbert fan out there. You're welcome, sir or ma'am or Blaine Gabbert's dog.

Stuff We Already Posted Yesterday But, The Hell With It, It's Awesome

WHAT? HUH? WHAT? FUCK YOU, PUNT!

Let's also see if we can get Ravens fans to do ECW chants after big hits.

Where's the rest of the UN School?

Yes, two references to "The Critic" in this recap. Because even though it's been off the air for 15 years now, I still love that show. So I have no lack of appreciation for an Easter Island Dolphins fan, though that's almost certainly not what he had in mind when he made the costume.

Anyway, very sorry for Critic oversaturation.


 

I want more like this!

Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news and humor before everyone else.

TAGS: , , , , , , , , ,

Join The Discussion


Join the discussion. Sign Up or