Adrian Peterson is working to come back from ACL and MCL injuries in order to be ready for the start of this season. A healthy Purple Jesus is critical to the Vikings’ chances of not being the worst of the worst and possibly, with luck and enough injuries to opponents, attaining the holy grail of mediocrity. Therefore, the team has issued strict orders to keep the hell off Peterson.

Jamarca Sanford on orders given to the D about Adrian Peterson: “The rules are simple. Do not touch 28. If you touch him, you’re cut.”

Kind of makes me wish Donovan McNabb were still on the team, so teammates could take bets on who would push him into the back and get him cut. Also, if someone really wanted to get rid of Jared Allen, you could stick some fake big buck antlers on Peterson and Allen would shoot him in the throat with a crossbow.

[via]