Like this but real.

I’m not exactly the rugged manly type, a point that was hammered home when I attended my first rodeo over the weekend. I don’t own any guns, I don’t hunt for my own food, and I’d rather drive a golf cart than a Harley. Yep, I’m a pussy. And yet even I can’t drive past a construction site without imagining myself at the controls of a gigantic bulldozer.

This week we’re going to draft pieces of heavy machinery that you’d be able to use however you see fit, whether it’s planting a garden or crushing your enemies.

With the first pick in the draft I select the IDF Caterpillar D9R. It’s the greatest thing to come out of Israel other than Bar Refaeli, and I can use it to plow my driveway that one day out of the year it actually snows. I imagine I’d spend the rest of my time destroying abandoned buildings. Finally, a good reason to drive to Baltimore.

Take your turn in the comment section, and please wait at least 20 picks before going back for seconds.

Top image via Shutterstock.