The preseason is in full swing, so football is kind of quasi-back-esque, as PK would say. Despite the horrendous scab officiating, it was still great to sift through a slate of six games last night, at least for an hour or so, until everyone on the field were unrecognizable future victims of the turk.

RGIII looked competent, prompting the inevitable hysteria on the part of Redskins fans. He also engaged in KSK-level inappropriateness in the post-game press conference. Michael Vick dinged his hand. The Bills made Subway gave away a bunch of cookies. Peyton Manning threw an interception, which wasn’t directly his fault, but went off the hands of Brandon Stokley, the decrepit old white guy Pey-Pey demanded be brought in, so he can share in some of the blame. Ryan Mathews is out for at least the next month, getting the San Diego suck train off to a fine start and also making you that much more uneasy about taking him in fantasy.

There are six more games on tonight, two more on Saturday, with the Colts and Rams being the lone Sunday contest. Near-football goes down best with a side of sexy.

Entry for ladies/non-traditional male readers division:

[Pics/gif via here, here, here, here, and here]