This off-season, Wes Welker started hawking adult diapers and he got married. At the age of 31, lil’ WELKAH’s nawt the fresh, young GRITSTAH he once was. The evidence shows up top, too, with his hairline retreating further and further up his forehead with LeBron-like tenacity. That just won’t do. No way you can be a baldy ugmo and play with Dreamboat. He won’t stand for it. Also, Gronk wants a wingman that doesn’t give off creepy old man vibe.

So Welker turned to the medical procedure that fellow follically challenged sports star Wayne Rooney underwent a year ago and that Drew Brees will have to have done at some point in the near future: hair transplant surgery. It also doesn’t hurt that Dr. Underneath turned the situation into another opportunity for endorsement.

Conducted in early July, the procedure involved transplanting follicles to an area of Welker’s scalp where his hair had started to thin. The procedure was completed in Dr. Robert Leonard’s office during a single session that lasted approximately five hours. Following the procedure, there was no visible evidence of the procedure, including bandages. Welker was immediately able to resume his regular activities, including training for the football season and even wearing a helmet.

What about swimming? Does it still look natural coming out of the pool? That’s the true test of any hair transplant, if cheesy ’80s-era commercials for the procedure are a fair standard to go by, which they probably aren’t.

Related: Steve Serby apparently now running FOX Sports’ NFL Twitter account.