Happy 236th birthday, America! I got you this blog post.

Like you, dear readers, we’re taking the Fourth off for gluttony, fireworks, miniature American flags and generally pushing the boundaries of many of the freedoms we take for granted on a daily basis. Have a safe holiday and be sure to salue the flag or Ufford will fly back from his Mexican wedding to slug you in the nuts.

We’ll be back at it on Thursday, valiantly trying to bide more time until football returns. In the meantime, Ocho is getting hitched on the Fourth. With the down time, six or so Lions players are likely to be arrested. Should be good for business. We’ve also only received one mailbag question for this week, so make with the inquiries unless you want it postponed until next week.