“The battery in this watch died. The taxpayers will fix that!”

With the Bengals actually making shockingly non-moronic trades and draft picks in recent years, it’s actually been possible to forget that Mike Brown remains among the more detestable and clueless owners in the league. Never thought I’d see the day. Luckily, Mikey’s ever-present cheapness will always shine through whatever temporary structure of competence that he’s erected for himself.

The latest reminder: the Bengals are holding their training camp at the team facility in Cincinnati for the first time ever this season, which of course is actually a cost-cutting move. To celebrate this achievement in thriftiness, the team is holding a pep rally with player introductions, a local band performing and a fireworks show. It being the Bengals, the team sent invitations to season ticket holders to come to the event, provided they pay the $10 cover charge, pay for parking and get no free food. Meanwhile, the Reds hold a more impressive fan festival each year and don’t charge season ticket holders at all.

Of course, a Bengals rep is trying to head off criticism by saying the team is only charging admission to defray overhead costs for the event itself, which would probably fall on more sympathetic ears if Mike Brown didn’t have one of the more sweetheart stadium deals in sports. Better yet, the rep claimed that charging for the event tested well with a focus group. “What’s that? You guys LIKE paying money for things? Well, have I got good news for you…”

Anyway, this is all a very Mike Brown thing. It’s also a very Dan Snyder thing. In this case, it’s Mike Brown doing it, so I’ll stick with saying it’s a very Mike Brown thing.