A reader spotted this KSK plate in Boston across the street from Fenway “around game time”. So either there’s a Masshole who is fond of our non-stop bagging on their hometown or someone wants to show off their affection for a certain branch of the German special forces. I think we all know the answer to that one. “Jawohl, mein hoodie kommandant.”
— The one takeaway nugget from Coby Fleener’s MMQB dispatch was that at the rookie symposium Pacman Jones “regretfully recounted spending $1 million in one weekend! To which [Terrell] Owens looked at him, smiling, and said, ‘Man, you crazy!'” At that point, Pacman ate his face. CHUH CHUH. OHHH YEEUUHHHH PACMAN GONE ATE.
— Relevant to players burning through money: Michael Vick reportedly spent $300,000 on his wedding. From the report: “The site reports that ‘waffles and chicken’ were on the menu and that it included “private pool-side concerts by Gym Class Heroes, Maroon 5 and Flo Rida.” Ewww, Maroon 5 and Gym Class Heroes? No thanks, I’ll just be hanging out over by the weed fountain if anyone needs me.
— Pierre Garcon posted some pictures on Facebook of Redskins passing game retreat in Waco. A bunch of irate fat hump Colts fans proceeded to call Garcon a “trader” in the comments.
— Busted Coverage brings the Sexy Monday with this picture of a Favretard getting a 4 shaved into his back hair in commemoration of the Land Baron. If you’re not manscaping those nether regions, well, you’re not going full baron.
— At loose ends? Take Tony Dungy’s One-Year Devotional Life Plan and you’ll turn your life around and start hating the gays in no time.
— Charities run by Aaron Maybin and D’Brickashaw Ferguson are steering money toward the players’ family members or their own personal accounts. Hooray, another opportunity to feel morally superior to rich people between 30-minute porn jags and ramen binges.
— The NFL is relaxing its blackout policy. Of course, just how much that policy is relaxed in each market is up to the discretion of that team’s owner. In conclusion: as you were, Redskins fans.
— Buried within that same Wall Street Journal story is the news that the league is working on an app that would allow fans in the stadium to listen to a continuous audio feed of players who are mic’d up on the field. One NFL executive described it as “a long way off” which is where I predict it will remain since there’s no way the league will ever feel safe allowing that access, though it does open the door to Goodell fining players for use of bad language within the huddle, and he could really see himself enjoying that.
I want more like this!
Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news and humor before everyone else.