Defensive end Brett Keisel arrived at Steelers camp in an orange tractor that he drove 20 miles along the road, to the surprise of highly Pittsburghish people. For context, Keisel’s nickname is Diesel, though he’s more often referred to as “That Guy With The Beard”.

— Speaking of tractor guys, celebrated land baron Brett Favre has started his gig as offensive coordinator at a Hattiesburg high school and Busted Coverage has photo evidence. For a cell phone pic of Favre, it’s surprisingly inoffensive.

— President Obama has advised Michael Vick to slide more often and Vick is taking the suggestion to heart. In other news, Andy Reid has 50 other coaching points that if Obama could squeeze into his next State of the Union, that’d be great. No pressure.

— Magic Johnson, Jerry Jones and Dan Snyder hanging out on a boat while barefoot. Just a couple sports owner bros doing sports owner bro things. Snyder has a nice bloat going. Somebody had to eat all that Johnny Rockets.

— MJD has begun his holdout and the Steelers have suspended contract negotiations with Mike Wallace. Please resolve these impasses by my fantasy draft, kthanksbye.

— Regarding his former team, the Cowboys, Marty B said, “I just want to kick those guy’s asses.” He added, “I don’t like a lot of people. I’m kind of an asshole. I’m kind of pissed off about a lot.” A misanthrope who despises the Cowboys? Be still my cold, unfeeling heart.

— Arian Foster looks pretty sad for a guy hanging out with a unicorn. Probably needs more meat in his diet. Or maybe he’s waiting on the Houston chimera.