It’s been a while since we checked in with noted Redskins fan tardfarts, the Dead Tree Crew. Well, apparently The Mayor is now on Instagram and has shared the lovely photo posted above. Just another reminder it ain’t safe in the FedEx Field parking lots, in case you’d ever want to go there, which you don’t. If there’s anything more imposing than an armed white dude in LaRon Landry jersey (Ed. note: no longer a Redskin) well, it’s probably at the Gathering of the Juggalos.

According to Johnathan Joseph, the Bengals have limits on how much Gatorade players can take home. Meanwhile in Houston, the sugar water flows like… regular water, I guess? Anyway, just another installment in Great Moments in Mike Brown Cheapness.

— Butch Davis wants to return to being a head coach. I’ll just leave this here:


— Tony Romo has been spending his summer playing pick-up basketball at a Jewish Community Center. Actual quote: “He’ll push you around. He’s not going to hold back just because you’re a young Jewish man.” There’s also a Itzy Ribald involved.

— Remember when Bill Belichick was in The Sandlot as the kid who killed the neighbor’s dog with his giant head?

— The Dez Bryant mom attack has elevated from a simple shoving to Dez hitting his mom in the face with a baseball cap and pulling her hair. That’s probably not getting any more graphic without being a murder.

— Someone built a model of Ralph Wilson Stadium out of Legos. Any chance that thing didn’t cost more than the actual Ralph? I thought not.