The Lowell Spinners are holding their Peter King Bobblehead Night promotion at their game this evening, in case you live in northeast Massachusetts, enjoy minor league baseball and hate yourself. As you can see, it’s unfortunate that the team uses the same stock body type for its bobbleheads, because the PK offering is way, way too svelte. Might as well scrap the idea entirely and go with Nickel Citrus Beer Night.

– The initial team rankings for Madden 13 are available, if you’re wondering how good your favorite team is going to be in a video game that you won’t be able to play for another month. Wait, the Redskins have the same rating as the Texans? Ooh, you done trolled the wrong barely visible fan base this time, Electronic Arts!

– Former Redskins/Panthers running back Stephen Davis is the latest to come forward with his disquieting post-concussion symptoms after filing a lawsuit against the league. Among the details, he “needs a television or other background noise on to drown constant ringing in his ears”. Interesting. I just do that to drown out pesky “thoughts”.

– Matt Millen is predictably embarrassing himself in reaction to the Freeh Report. Well of course all the usual PSU media mouthpieces were gonna do that. Your move, LaVar Arrington.

– Peyton Manning won’t be shacking up in Mike Shanahan’s guest house anymore now that Pey-Pey has dropped $4.5 million on a Denver-area mansion that “includes seven bathrooms, separate media and billiard rooms, a “safe” room and an elevator”. Ooh, a Pey-Pey panic room! NeckAIDs will never get him there.

– The next two episodes of Judge Sapp are embedded after the jump, should you require more trainwreck in your Thursday.