Wes Welker is in Aspen prepping for his wedding to former Hooters bikini model Anna Burns. He and his buddies wanted to have a night out last Friday. It being Aspen, the main event in town that night was a high-falutin’ food and wine festival. Sure, the group wasn’t invited and didn’t bother to check in with any of the organizers. Doesn’t matter. What match could they be against the overpowering force of grittiness that is Welkah and friends?

BUMRUSH THE WINE FESTIVAL!

Welker and six friends — out for what seemed to be an unofficial bachelor party — tussled with security when they tried to enter the Patrón tequila-sponsored “Summerology” event Friday night, part of the weekend’s 30th annual Aspen Food & Wine Classic.

Sources say Welker strolled up to the bash at restaurant Above the Salt with his posse and tried to rush in without checking in with party staffers. When security tackled the group, witnesses said they still wouldn’t cooperate, and demanded to be let in right away.

We’re told Welker and his rowdy crew weren’t arrested, but cops threatened to do so. “Security calmed them down and kicked them off the property,” a source told us.

Welker: “Screw you guys. I don’t need your wine festival. You can take your Barbera d’Asti and shove it up your d’ass.”

/re-enacts Super Bowl by dropping 38 wine bottles

Quite a triumph for the foodies. Factoring in the results of this tussle, your updated scoreboard:

Food Dorks: 1
Smooth Jocks: 6.0221415 × 10^23