Chiefs receiver Jonathan Baldwin would like to inspire us by strapping a camera to his head and going jogging at 1:30 a.m. Pfft. That’s the coldest time of day. Real hardcore people go running at 3 p.m. and get heat stroke. [RIP Hardcore people]
— The NFL is creating an anonymous tip line for players to call to report if bounties are being offered on their team. Really hope it’s 1-800-HED-SHOTS.
“Hello, I’d like to report one of our guys is trying to tackle Tom Brady. Yep. You know what to do.”
— Plaxico Burress wants to play for the Panthers, but the Panthers don’t want him. Womp womp. At least for the $3 million per year asking price that Plax reportedly wants. Poor guy. But I’m sure a bunch of free time will only end in good things for Plax.
— Your football future scare quote of the day from an academic who really wants to be quoted in the New York Times: â€œFootball is really on the verge of a turning point here. We may see it in 15 years in pretty much the same place as boxing or ultimate fighting.â€ Thanks, sports socialist in Colorado Springs. One of those sports is actually gaining in popularity.
— Nnamdi told PFT that wide receiver is the easiest position to play in football. MANDATORY TROLLGAZE RESPONSE: Well, Nnamdi did make it look remarkably easy last season. [plays slide whistle while honking clown nose]
— Dan Rooney told the BBC that he thinks that an NFL game in Ireland will happen soon and that hopes the Steelers will be involved. Don’t toy with the Irish, Dan, they’ve already suffered enough. Though the Irish could relate well to the Pittsburgh diaspora.
— Responding to the Jim Brown comments that he’s an “ordinary talent”, Trent Richardson said, â€œI laugh at the situation. You donâ€™t know me from spic to span.” Because if history has taught us anything, laughing at Jim Brown is always a great idea.
— The $2 million mansion that Mario Williams purchased in Buffalo includes a two-floor library. That’s gonna take a lot of Blu-Ray discs to fill.
I want more like this!
Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news & humor before everyone else.