Because Tim Tebow is a hero to evangelicals, white sportswriters and people who want to see Nacho benched in the most humiliating way possible, Teebs has an image to protect. If you want that “Easter sermon at the megachurch” action, that means no posing for photos with debauched slatterns like Kate Upton. She probably has HPV like Lena Dunham and the unwholesome half of America.

Appearing today on the Dan Patrick Show, Upton said she was rebuffed by Tebow at the Super Bowl when she asked to pose for a photo with the Runslinger. Oh, the moralistic nerve!


Sure, she neglected to mention that she had wanted him to lay spread eagle on a pentagram while she shat aborted fetuses on Jesus’ face, but whatever, I think the flat rejection is still kinda rude.

Besides, it’s not like Tebow was averse to photos with the attractive ladyfolk. His college highlight reel was quite extensive in that regard.

You’ve changed, Teebs.

UPDATE: Whoop. Guess not. Apparently Tebow posed with Upton and Teigen during SB week on the show. OMG WHY ARE PRETTY GIRLS SUCH MEAN LYING LIARS? We’ll never forgive her unless tits. Apparently Tebow initially didn’t want to take the pic but got strong-armed into it by the hosts/hot girls.

Speaking of, tangentially relevant but sexy Kate Upton video of the day, via With Leather: