Bengals lineman Jacob Bell cited Junior Seau’s suicide as one of the reasons for his abrupt retirement, which the eight-year veteran announced yesterday. Bell described Seau’s suicide as the “cherry on top” for his decision, which we’re thinking just might be a poor choice of idiom. We imagine he meant either “final nail in the coffin” or “the straw that broke the camel’s back”, unless it just never dawned on us that the two best times to retire are after winning the Super Bowl and when a likely Hall of Fame linebacker kills himself.

“I’ve had a great career, but Seau getting one in the chest really puts it over the top. Can’t get any higher than that!”

On a somewhat lighter note, here’s a comedy video from The NOC with Brandon Lloyd and Bryant McKinnie deadlocked in a 77-year tennis match. You’d be hard-pressed to find much more “middle of May” content than that. No way Mount McKinnie would make it through seven volleys before passing out from exhaustion, but I suppose when the premise is two time-traveling football players donning wigs and playing a genteel sport, it’s a little beside the point to nitpick details.