Proving for once and all that troll genius is hereditary, Tom Brady’s father told Mike Silver that, were his son just now starting out with football, he would have to weigh the matter very carefully before allowing him to strap on a helmet. Well, it’s a good thing Papa Dreamboat did in fact let his son play football at a more dangerous time, since it yielded all those hundreds of millions of dollars and the supermodel wife and the farts that smell like Christmas.

“Tommy did not play football until he was 14, because we didn’t think he was physically developed enough to play the sport,” he said. This during a time when head injuries still received barely any more worry than a sprained ankle would. Obviously times have changed.

Of all the consequences of the league’s lamentable decades-long neglect of the concussion issue, this ranks as the worst. TOM BRADY COULD HAVE BEEN AVOIDED! Sadly, we must learn to live with the mistakes of the past. At least the league has mandated that all players must now wear knee and thigh pads, so all the concussions caused by shots to the legs are no more! Progress!