The RGIII vanity plate craze now fully blog saturated, ‘Skins fans are breaking out tribute songs for their presumptive first pick. They’re about as grating as you would expect. See, this is why it is not advisable to give Redskins fans things to be excited about. You can fault Dan Snyder for a great many things, but he has done a service to the country in suppressing Warrrrrrshington enthusiasm. There’s also a techno version of “Hail to the Redskins” if such a thing suits you. No dubbysteppy version yet? D.C. remains woefully behind current trends in cacophony.

- Steve Smith came forward to say that he was once targeted by the Saints bounty system. Steve always took me as too frightening to be a snitch. Now I have to fear snitches? Great, one more thing.

- Vontaze Burfict failed a drug test before the draft. Other than rampant character concerns and a poor showing at the combine, I still see no reason for the Bengals to let him slip out of the first.

- Willie McGinest is calling Wes Welker a diva. Boston fans will be pissed about it just as soon as they finish with their idyllic Fenway stroll and pretending to care about the Bruins.

- Cam Newton released a seven-minute video of him begging people to vote for him in the Madden cover contest finals. Doesn’t he know that’s like seven hours in Internet time. Somebody get this guy a social media specialist, inexplicably pay that person six figures and make it me. If you can make it all the way through, you must really like Cam Newton. Or the fact that it looks like he’s wearing a goatse shirt.