The NFL’s latest tactic for policing disruptive fans soaking people out of more money is forcing fans who have been tossed from a game to undergo a four-hour, $75 online course that culminates in a code-of-conduct exam. In order to be admitted into another NFL game, the test taker must score a 70 percent or better.

A few sample questions were included revealed in reports about the exam, but KSK has uncovered a complete version of the test, which we include below:

1. The shield should be:

A) Tarnished
B) Immaculate
C) SCARY GRAY AREA OF UNCERTAINTY

2. Which of the following items is an acceptable alcohol delivery device:

A) Traffic cone
B) Officially licensed cup
C) Busty girl’s navel

3. If a fight breaks out in your section you should…

A) Alert an usher
B) Attack the minority
C) CELLPHONE CAM

4. If you encounter a fan exhibiting suspicious behavior:

A) Consider yourself deputized
B) Wait for Batman
C) Alert security at once

5. As a taxpayer who helped fund the stadium, you should consider yourself

A) Proud that you helped your team remain competitive
B) Proud that you helped spur local businesses near the stadium
C) Proud that you live in a country that accepts a diverse set of opinions

6. A player has taunted or made an obscene gesture toward you. How do you respond?

A) Consider it an autograph.
B) Respond in kind.
C) Try to feel a sense of superiority that you are classier than the millionaire who just gave you the finger.

7. You have been stabbed by a Raiders fan. You should:

A) Seek immediate medical assistance.
B) Try not to die on stadium grounds.
C) Ask for a divorce from the Raiders fan you married.

8. You wish to bring a sign to the stadium. Do you:

A) Ensure it is appropriate and does not obstruct the view of other fans.
B) Include an acrostic of the name of the network broadcasting the game.
C) Accept the one that an NBC producer hands you and try to appear spontaneous.

9. Every fan has a right to like any team they wish. Using abusive language towards fans who support teams you don’t like will not be tolerated.

A) True
B) False
C) Mostly true, for the exception of Cowboys, Steelers, Patriots, Colts, Eagles, Jets and Redskins fans.

10. Despite having a ticket, you have been denied access to the Super Bowl because Jerry Jones oversold the party deck.

A) Please enjoy this complementary NFL Play 60 lanyard
B) Okay, how about two?
C) Sorry, limit two per aggrieved customer.

Answer key: B, B, A, C, A, C, A, C, A, A

[Original image via Shutterstock]