Rick Santorum bowed out of the presidential race today and Philip Rivers is crushed. But that won’t be the end of players’ messy and unfortunate forays into political advocacy. Just this afternoon there came word that Clinton Portis will be appearing with Joe Biden at an Obama fundraiser a week from today. Obama can only hit up the Georgetown salons so many times. Biden and Portis are taking the campaign to transitioning neighborhoods! Get that gentrifier money!

Lot of pressure on Ashley Biden to keep the reins on those two explosive personalities. She’ll have to be focused, because once this things goes off the rails, it’s mere minutes before Biden and Portis transform it into a go-go club and either all the women get pregnant or a Terrance Knighton situation happens. D.C. just finished restoring the Howard Theatre. They would like it to stay upright for at least a full month.