Passover begins this evening. Easter is Sunday. Lots of holiness going on this weekend. All this religion combined with seeing the above image got me thinking about the biblical figure of Onan, whose name has pretty much become synonymous with fapping even though he wasn’t much a practitioner of the masturbatory arts.
Onan was just some dude who was asked to knock up his dead brother’s wife and pulled out. That’s not fapping, that’s f*cking! Hardly anything remotely close to our contemporary notion of masturbation. Not sure whether this makes me sad for Onan that he has a misunderstood legacy or super jelly that he gets an eternity of lonely dude gratitude for a linguistic error.
Were there only a biblical figure named Fap who would randomly be in the background of significant events beating himself off with a huge smile on his face. Then things would make a little more sense. Anyway, on to fapping.
Happy Easter, y’all
Inclusion for the ladies/ non-traditional male audience:
I want more like this!
Follow Kissing Suzy Kolber on Facebook and get the latest NFL news & humor before everyone else.