Nate Webster, a linebacker who most recently played with the Broncos in 2008, had a fling with the babysitter back in 2009. This is a problem beyond just general creepiness of sleeping with a girl roughly half his age, as he was 31 years old at the time and he told authorities that the girl was 15. Not S-M-R-T, given the age of consent in Ohio, where the incident occurred, is 16. So naturally, Webster’s lawyers are saying that he merely had problems remembering that she had juuuust turned 16 before the sex happened. Like, possibly minutes before. Luckily, the threat of 30+ years in prison seems to have jogged Webster’s memory a bit.

Webster was chided by the girl’s father, Tieger said, for not paying her for babysitting. When he did, he started the sexual relationship, the prosecutor added, and threatened to kill her and her family if she told. “As time went by this became a full-fledged secretive relationship,” Tieger said.

Well, we found the only thing worse than being paid in Trident Layers: creepy sex with a side of threats against your family. Don’t worry, though: Ray Lewis (!!!) is going to testify in the case. And Ray-Ray don’t rat out buddies from The U unless he’s got his own jail time to avoid. And since I didn’t see any charges against God’s Linebacker, Webster should be all right. Well, except for that whole “already telling the cops she was underage when the sex happened” part.