Tom Brady wasn’t about to sit idly by as Sam Bradford stole attention for wearing hipster duds and other not quite conventional manly attire at Coachella. Oh man, Dreamboat went all newsie on us, so maybe he’s starting to experiment with themes. Please, steampunk airship captain next, Tom. Should it come as a surprise for a guy who endorses UGGs and generally is comfortable enough with himself to sport something other than the off-field brofessional uniform of backwards hat plus Tapout shirt? Nope. Everybody knows Brady ain’t care.

“I was a paper boy,” Tom told me at the grand opening of the rag & bone boutique on Newbury Street, where he and his beauteous bride, Gisele Bundchen, popped in after they caught the Red Sox [team stats]’ 100th anniversary game at Fenway.

WAS a paper boy? Why give it up when Brady has the perfect paper route ride? Great way to stay in shape in the off-season, plus learn critical small tornado evasion skills bound to be useful when Mario Williams plays him twice a season.

As always, what we love most is Brady’s ability to troll his own fan base of Masshole mouthbreathers. A quick perusal of Barstool (Post title: “Who Is The Gayball Paperboy With Gisele?“) comments turns up these gems:

the gayer he gets, the less likely we become to win a championship, Tommy Gayboy

Thanks a lot, Yoko. We never really liked winning Super Bowls that much anyways.

“YOU MADE TAWMMY TERRIFIC THE LUNCH PAIL KING INTO A FACKIN ANKLE-GRABBING QUEEEEEEEAH! MAY GRAWNK DIDDLE HIS BUTTGINA AFTAH HE PLOWS TEBOW’S ASS! NAWT GAY IF YO-AH NAWT RECEIVING!”