Because writing off-season posts about dumb quotes about what people wear to press conferences has me missing football a little more than usual, I’ll lead off the Klearinghouse with this 10-minute video recently posted on Reddit of defense porn with clips of at least one defensive score from each team in the league. I say defensive score and not pick-six because two of the teams shown score on fumble returns and not interceptions. Feel my pedantry!

That said, if can get past the dubsteppy soundtrack, it’s a welcome midday diversion. Some teams get one highlight, while others get as many as three. I’m sure it’s due to availability of highlights or whether your team’s defense has actually made a play in a while.

– New Orleans-based writer Arthur Donnes said the Saints bounty snitch can be identified in the above photo. No, it’s not Brad Pitt, nor is it Maddox, though that hat does lend an air of suspicion. No, it’s former Saints quality control coach Mike Cerullo, who also performed a bevy of assistant tasks with the team from ’07 to 2010. Eh, I liked it better when we could just joke about it being Jeremy Shockey.

– Fox Sports is reporting that Rex Ryan doesn’t want the Jets to be the subject of this year’s “Hard Knocks” which, if true, is a goddamn tragedy. Come on, Rex, don’t let the media scolds convince you that distractions are bad. Distract! Distract! In other news, the Broncos already turned HBO down, so no Pey-Pey premium cable redemption story. The report says a two-team all-Harbaugh season with the 49ers and Ravens is a possibility and would also be death. The Jaguars have let HBO know they are interested. If HBO can make an iso camera on Shadid Khan’s mustache compelling in hour-long chunks, sure. All for it.

– Tim Tebow is battling with two people to trademark the term/act/*fartnoise* of “Tebowing”. But of course. Copyright law was among Jesus’ more arcane teachings.

– Jenny McCarthy and Brian Urlacher had dinner in Beverly Hills on Tuesday and TMZ is taking a page from the Peter King School of Quasi-Reportage and pronouncing them a “maybe couple”. It’s a workable match or the worst-possible curse on a kid’s life, as she’s probably unfit to have children and he’s an already established terrible father.

– Lions president Tom Lewand set the troll bait by saying his ultimate goal is to win many Super Bowls with the Lions. Just like that, he caught himself a Florio.