‘Bout to be another day of pearl-clutching over bounties up in… well, not here, since we view the media reaction as a mixture of knee-jerky bullsh*t and Saints schadenfreude, but probably everywhere else there will be that. The takeaway from the Gregggggg locker room audio isn’t that Gregg Williams is a bloodthirsty monster so much as he is a breathtakingly oblivious derptard.

What’s stunning though is the NFL was deep into its investigation of the Saints and had already contacted the team when Williams made a fiery speech to his players, audio of which was uncovered by Michael Silver of Yahoo! Sports via documentary filmmaker Sean Pamphilon, who was present for the meeting with cameras.

BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA What a stoop. Enjoy your future career in landscaping. For all the talk about Frank Gore, it might have made some sense to mention Vernon Davis more than once in his bounty checklist in retrospect. Famous unspoken last words, I guess. My favorite part is where Williams asks his players to target spectators. That’s just cartoonish supervillainy.

What are the odds that an enterprising YouTube mixologist has this autotuned by the end of the day? Even money? Is DJ Steve Porter still in that trade? Either way, no doubt that someone will be on it.

Saints players: AAAHHHHHH THE FINGER THING MEANS THE TAXES BOUNTIES