After a letdown season plagued by flaky behavior and disappointing production on the field, Peyton Hillis won’t be given the franchise tag by the Browns, meaning he’ll now hit the open free agent market. That makes his search for his fourth different agent in the span of a year a little more urgent. Teams will undoubtedly be lining around the block for his services, considering Hillis, in addition to alienating teammates, isn’t entirely sure he wants to continue playing football at all, not with the higher calling of being a spook in the offing.
Throughout the past season, Hillis has wavered about whether he wants to continue playing football, and even considered joining the CIA, according to team sources.
Well then. Should Hillis decide he still wants to make a go of it in the NFL (and a team feels like taking a flyer on him) “The Manchurian Running Back” might stick as a potential nickname. If not, I’m sure the Browns would appreciate it if he practiced extraordinary rendition on the rest of the AFC North. Or at least send someone out from one of the field offices to show them how an RGIII works.
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To me, Santonio Holmes will be more of a stable guy until I get some photo evidence of Hillis.
Of course the first one robs me of my horse joke. Good job, mate.
Cheers! I wondered if anyone expected of the Kommentariat a better dick joke than that in the early offseason.
Ney. Plus a horse dick joke has both volume and quality.
Waiting on a Mark-Chmura-type scandal before I make a snide remark regarding head injuries, HGH, and his bat shit craziness.
/could’ve played for the Pats if he didn’t fuck McDaniels’ wife
//grit grit grit
Anybody know how much these guys are paid to be the Madden cover boy? I think Hillis is kind of an asshole, but if someone paid me a substantial amount of money to be on the cover of a video game, I’d probably be an asshole too.
This dude was playing on a rookie 6th or 7th round contract. His job is to ram his head into DTs and LBs over and over again. He’s not going to last and he’s not getting paid. I’d be pissed too.
Say hello cincinnati. Though his levels of grit would lean toward New England.
Oh, he’ll be a Bengal. “Unstable wannabe CIA agent” > “unstable drunk who gets into fights every time he goes to Texas”
I know this is off-topic, but did anyone read the transcript (I couldn’t bring myself to actually listen to the podcast) of Simmons’ interview with Obama? Aside from all of the instances in which he interrupts the fucking PRESIDENT OF THE UNITED STATES, I have to point out this gem:
Obama: I love Chris Paul. He’s a great guy. He’s on my Presidential Fitness Council. And I’ve gotten to know a lot of these guys, because for my 49th birthday I had my own little All-Star Game here.
BS: I heard about that. I wasn’t invited.
FUCK YOU. Ok? FUCK YOU, you piece of shit. You are nothing. You a glorified sports fan fiction writer who does nothing but bitch about his asshole Boston teams in the guise of being a “real journalist.” You worked on a shitty late night show and make the same fucking jokes you did 10 years ago. You want to be invited to an All-Star game at the WH, you smarmy prep school privileged shit? Then fucking DO SOMETHING of worth rather than suck on your own cock for writing long self-congratulatory columns every other month. Fucking choke on your own worthless writing, asshole.
That’s some lofty hate there VJM; good show ol’chap, good show.
I was going to sit quietly and wait for Tawmmy vs. the Dahhhkie in Chief, myself, but thanks for getting the ball rolling.
good call… he’s really trying to morph into Rick Rilley®, and my that I mean, be as hated nationally as.
Meh, Bill O’Reilly disrespected the President in an interview before it was cool.
Anyone who waxes their eyebrows isn’t stable…FACT!
The Spy Who Came In From The Cold. Cuz it’s cold in Cleveland. C’mon, not even a chuckle?
Tinker, Tailor, Soldier, Crackerback
Pey Pey’s neck looks so strong a healthy in the banner image.
?
In fairness, he was only considering the CIA because the Browns’ ownership told the players that the staph infection epidemic was an Al Qaeda terror plot.
Well, goodbye white hard running man. It was fun while it lasted. I’ll wait 30 years for the next one. If there is even running backs by then.
Merely hearing the stories from my parents about the Hillis family getting into actual fistfights in the stands was the highlight of my high school athletic career.
He’s a Spy in the Dawg House of Love.
Yeah McDaniels is a fucking idiot for letting THIS GUY get away
/I know we got Quinn (read as: nothing) in exchange, but McD got fucking crucified for NAWT NOTICING GRIT PRAWPERLY, and it turns out the guy’s a headcase and insanely inconsistent.
Wasted potential. Headcase wasted, always the best.
Future cover athlete of Petraeus CIA ’14.
Hillis would make an awesome spy, you guys. I didn’t notice him at all last season. And I thank you.