The guy who brought you Factory of Sadness has another installment of Cleveland hangdoggery. This one is regrettably devoid of yelling and swearing. What gives? Obviously you’re just not depressed enough, Browns fans.

– The man who called in a bomb threat to the Superdome during the Lions-Saints playoff game is named Shawn Payton. HARF HARF, stadium bounties. This Payton hails from Michigan, so I can only assume it was the cruel idea of Louisiana authorities to put him in an Auburn hat in his file photo.

– As part of his sponsorship with Dunkin Donuts, Rob Gronkowski spent the morning working the drive-thru at one of their locations. Well, at least with the depressing work experience Gronk will be able to relate to the kids who show up at his University of Rhode Island lecture next month.

– Should you be interested in Peter King’s blow-by-blow account of the Peyton Manning free agency courtship, you can find it here. Sure, it sells the happy but dubious narrative that Peyton didn’t care about money as long as his new team had lofty meshology, but more than anything else, it’s noteworthy because of the cloak-and-dagger tactics that Pey-Pey underwent to duck the media. For example, the Broncos used seven cars in one instance to transport Manning so as to divert the tailing media horde. Oh, there’s also this:

Manning talked to another confidant, Bill Parcells, who he knew wouldn’t b.s. him. He told Parcells his arm wasn’t 100% yet. “You know who Jamie Moyer is?” Parcells asked, referring to the veteran lefthander who’s been pitching in the majors since 1986. Manning said he did.

“He’s 49 years old,” Parcells said. “He’s not 26 anymore, but he’s still getting ‘em out. Can you still throw well enough to get ‘em out?’

“I think I can,” Manning said.

“Then don’t worry about it.”

Congrats on getting the Jamie Moyer of the NFL, Denver. No way opposing defensive backs are gonna touch his offspeed stuff.

– In case you missed it, Ufford made this video for SB Nation introducing Tebow to the wholesome side of New York City. We were skeptical of Ufford’s on-screen exploits at first, but then we’d never have known what a good clean-cut Christian boy it would make of him. Awww, Uffy cleans up nice.

– In that vein, NYC’s Carnegie Deli has already come up with a sandwich for Tebow. Owner Sandy Levine notes it’s the deli’s first celebrity dedicated sandwich that is topped by white bread and mayonnaise. AND SHAMEFUL JUDGMENT!!!!