Shut up, Darren Rovell. Image via.

We’re drafting Playboy Playmates this week, meaning only those who have been named Playmate of the Month are eligible. Sorry, Madonna.

The idea is similar to SI Swimsuit draft. The idea is to create your ideal issue using only the three women you select.

The KSK draft order is as follows…

1. Flubby
2. Captain Caveman
3. Big Daddy Drew
4. Christmas Ape
5. Unsilent Majority

After our 15 picks there will be something like 600 other playmates to choose from in the comment section.

WARNING: Assume that all hyperlinks are NSFW, because most of them are.

1. Flubby – Marilyn Monroe Links are NSFW. This is your last warning.

2. CC – Bettie Page

As my platoon sergeant once said, “That’s a bad bitch.”

3. BDD – Kerri Kendall

4. Ape – Carmella DeCesare


5. UM – Jenny McCarthy


First round analysis: We start things off with some retroboners from the 50’s. Two of the earliest Playmates, and two of the most legendary. Drew, the group’s clear Playboy afficianado submits his pick off the top of his head via text. I get the feeling he could do this all day. Ape drafts someone who is still alive and attractive, while I close out the round with the once amazing Ms. McCarthy. Her turn-ons are Fire Marshall Billmen and hot dogs with mustard. Her turnoffs are vaccines and hot dogs with ketchup.

6. UM – Sara Jean Underwood

Please tell me you aren’t clicking on these links at work.


Girls of the Pac 10 is just the best. As is NSFW yoga.

7. Ape – Kelly Monaco

8. BDD – Cheryl Bachman


9. CC – Bebe Buell


The hottest ’70s tang there ever was.

10. Flubby – Petra Verkaik

Second round recap: I keep things all natural with a blonde Beaver before Ape snags the hottest brunette on the draft board. Drew got his hands on another cherished pubescent memory, while Ufford plucks another beauty from before his time. Flubby lands himself the largest pair of breasts in the draft, which certainly counts for something.

11. Flubby – Erika Eleniak

The reason Under Siege is my favorite Steven Seagal movie.

Here’s the NSFW gif of one of cinemas great moments.

12. CC – Nicole Lenz

13. BDD – Anna Nicole Smith

14. Ape – Victoria Silvstedt

15. UM – Ida Ljungqvist


Third round recap: Flubby adds some more heft to his lineup via boobs. A more extensive (NSFW) Google image search reveals that Ufford is quite adept this game. I mean holy shit, that’s one attractive lady. The next two off the board are a pair of bodacious blondes who are pretty used to having their pictures taken. I wrap things up with the only Tanzanian-Swedish Playmate. People from those two countries should probably mate more often.

Now it’s your turn, and we’ve left plenty of talent on the board. For example, I didn’t even know the name Jayde Nicole until after we wrapped this up. I’ll wait ten comments, but if she’s still on the board I’m taking her.