The Washington Post‘s Mike Wise shared this unfit-for-family-newspaper Redskins-era Gregg Williams anecdote with Dan Steinberg over Twitter, giving the world even more bad things to call Gregg as he’s run out of the league in disgrace. In addition to complex defensive schemes, the man had complex homophobia. Lemme get this straight: you miss your hole, which means you land in a gay man’s hole, which means AIDS. Gonna have to diagram that one for me, coach.

“Blown coverage, Smoot! This ain’t no scrotum chewing festival!”

“Bad throw, Campbell! Looks like we’re runnin’ a regular rainbow dildo shop!”

“Get that 3 technique outta my face. This ain’t no corn-sucking pageant!”

You don’t like my homophobic motivational techniques? Well, I know what you do like… penis! A MAN’S PENIS!!!

“Missed your man, Cooley. Hmm. Can’t do anything with that one.”

“You guys want a water break? Guess you’d to slurp some cum while you’re at it!”

“Well well well, if it ain’t Mister Bookbanger!”

– As Bountygate (or KillShotGate or SlayForPayGate) continues to work its way through the media cycle, we see more and more self-righteous pearl-clutching from veteran sportswriters who wonder aloud how we as a society could have condoned the barbarism that is the NFL as long as we have. After smelling Joe Posnanski’s and Charles Pierce’s farts, it’s scary how reasonable Buzz Bissinger can seem.

-In other non-Gregg Redskins-related terrible quote hilarity, Mike Shanahan said in an interview that the ‘Skins already had “a playoff-caliber offense” last season. In his defense, the Broncos did make the playoffs last year.

– The Packers opted not to franchise back-up quarterback Matt Flynn, so Green Bay won’t receive any compensation when he gets a huge contract elsewhere. Worse still, people are starting to describe his free agency as “Flynnsanity”. Why do we do these things to each other?

– Chad Ochocinco was peed on by a lion at a Voice for Children charity event on Saturday night in Miami. He then made a “I got peed on by a real lion and I ain’t lying” joke on Twitter, so safe to say he retroactively had it coming.

-Holley Mangold made the U.S. Olympic weightlifting team. We’re happy for her, but not as happy as we are to revisit original Deadspin memes.