“There’s two people in the world that a gator gonna love, and I’m both of them.”

The folks who brought you Marshawn Lynch shopping for grills now present Darnell Dockett shopping for gators. Wait, I thought he already had a gator. There might be gator hoarding going on at the Dockett residence. Someone should look into that. Of course, while Lynch did actually purchase a grill in his featured video, the folks running the wild beast shelter that Dockett visits don’t let him leave with any of the cool lethal animals that he interacts with, like the giant white gator who scares the sh*t out of him, the Burmese python or the scorpion. Probably for the best, but it does hurt the video’s payoff a bit. Dockett instead has to settle for buying a bearded dragon. Now the question becomes, will he package it with haircuts and free Saturday donuts as his offer to Peyton Manning to come to Arizona?