The newest fad in Peyton-wooing is mortgaging the chance of maybe a few years of decent production out of Fetushead by offering him a future front office job. The Titans are are the forefront of this, making headlines by offering Pey-Pey a “contract for life“, which sounds like either the sexiest phrasing possible for a three-year deal or an implicit threat from Bud Adams that he has contract killers at the ready if Pey-Pey signs elsewhere. I hope you all realize that it’s only a matter of days until teams start pitching him ownership stakes.

Why someone would want to be a Titan for life is beyond me. Then again, it’s important for Peyton to know that he’s taken care of and that he’ll always have an NFL team to obsess over, even if he ultimately makes for a terrible team executive. Wouldn’t it be great if he were granted what essentially works out to be tenure from a team only to be woefully inadequate at his job? It’d be like a lifetime appointment for Matt Millen. On one hand, NFL fans would never be rid of Manning in the news (we were never gonna be anyway) but the potential for schadenfreude for the team he brings down from the inside is tempting.

Of course, it’s all moot, mainly because of that whole “owners are full of sh*t and nothing in the NFL is guaranteed even when they say it is” thing.