Our Uproxx colleague Danger Guerrero mentioned on Twitter that last night on the Food Network show “Diners, Drive-Ins and Dives”, Joe Thiesmann and Guy Fieri got together to eat tacos at a gas station in Baltimore. That’s such an unholy convergence of awful, I’m surprised that the mere act of saying those things in that sequence doesn’t trigger a warlock’s incantation that makes the skies rain burning demon boners.

I won’t watch to confirm any of this and I don’t recommend you do it either. But Danger assures us that all bold flavors of awfulness were present.

The only time we should be allowing Guy Fieri and Theismann to be together and on television is if we finally get to the point of hating the wealthy enough that we create a show where two obnoxious celebrities are handcuffed together and hunted for sport. Matt Millen and Chelsea Handler would be an awesome combo. Oh, and Tim Tebow and Tom Cruise, who were also inexplicably allowed to be in the same place together recently. Tebow and Cruise wouldn’t even bother escaping, what with being too busy trying to convert one another.

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