Not a white woman? Nancy Grace says no thanks.Ever since Jason Campbell shattered his collarbone back in October, forcing the Raiders to mortgage the farm on a broken down Carson Palmer, we haven’t heard a great deal from the man who KOGOD once promised us would win eleventy MVPs and a half dozen Super Bowls for the Redskins. At long last, the sentence that KSK readers love to hear will probably gloss over: WE HAVE A JASON CAMPBELL NEWS ITEM!
Oakland Raiders Star Jason Campbell was all set to be married to his beautiful fiancé’ Jenny Montes this past weekend but he stood her up just hours before the ceremony was to take place. Guest had flown out to the Dominican Republic where the bride to be is from to watch the nuptials take place. What a cowardly move. The couple had an on and off relationship for the past 5 years. So far no reason has been cited for the inexplicably standing up his fiancé’ at the altar.
Jason Campbell being indecisive? It’s funny because that’s how he is in the pocket. THAT SCOUNDREL! HE LACKS MATRIMONIAL DISCIPLINE! Anyway, for the sake of boring old fairness, there’s a conflicting report with Campbell claiming it was a mutual decision between he and his fiancee, but that’s no fun. I’m just gonna go ahead and trollishly assume that’s a BS denial and he’ll later claim he was kidnapped by Mexicans. Mexicans like the Raiders, it checks out enough for cable news.
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Bring him back, COOCH!
That’s Los Rey-ders to you and yes, Mexicans have an unbelievable affinity for them. I am Mexican myself and I have no idea why…
I have no idea why you’re Mexican either, Balls.
Well played, porky, well played.
This goes here [twitpic.com]
That pic had a negative affect on the ol’ boner.
“Guest had flown out to the Dominican Republic where the bride to be is from to watch the nuptials take place. What a cowardly move.”
That’s writing of PK clarity there. So many questions.
1) Guest? Was there only one? Was it Christopher Guest? Is Jason a big Waiting for Guffman fan? If not, what’s the matter with him.
2) Why was it cowardly for the guest to fly out to watch the nuptuals? That seems kind of nice to me.
3) English, motherfucker — do you speak it?
“What” ain’t no country I’ve ever heard of. They speak English in What?
Say what again, motherfucker. I dare you. I double dare you.
Best scene ever.
I stopped at the cowardly line, but the last one is a trainwreck:
“So far no reason has been cited for the inexplicably standing up his fiancé’ at the altar.”
I mean, wow. Someone should check on Ufford, because the tortured syntax in that sentence probably sapped his will to live.
“Mmmmm (nom-nom) That is a tasty burger!”
/washes down with tasty Scotch
Being in an on again/off again relationship is usually solid enough foundation to get into a marriage.
Did he just get off of her when he was tired?
The couple had an on and off relationship for the past 5 years.
Why are we dragging Dan Snyder into this now?
What I am really interested in is what surname she would have ended up taking.
A relationship in which HE controls the outcome? HE’S DRUNK WITH POWER!
So, they couldn’t fly Carson Palmer in to be a replacement groom?
+50 points.
It would have cost her first and second child and future vagina considerations.
This could have been avoided if he wrote into the KSK fantasy football/sex advice mailbag and got sound advice from Matt.
Or maybe he does subscribe to Uff’s ramblings and realized that she was in the friend zone.
The Dominican Republic qualifies and a LDR.
He’s really 6 foot 5? Holy shit all of the qbs younger than me are getting too damn tall.
This is typical; he left on that bar tab once, so this kind of behavior is expected.
This might very well be the first time he’s been able to successfully escape from pressure
My God. That excerpt was actually unintelligible. It wasn’t so much a paragraph as it was the nonsensical vocalizations of a torture victim. This is not the sound reporting and attention-to-syntax that I’ve come to expect from Vibe Vixen!