– The Chiefs signed former Raiders cornerback Stanford Routt to a three-year, $19.6 million deal. The arrival of Routt, seen above getting beaten by new and possibly temporary teammate Dwayne Bowe, likely spells the end of Brandon Carr’s tenure in Kansas City. Will that ratchet up Peter King’s dreams of free agency mayhem? Hard to say, but I’m thankful to see even the most marginally exciting of player transactions. It’s a helpful reminder that the next season is only six and a half months away, as opposed to seven. [Has 20-minute crying jag only ended by the sight of Reese's Peanut Butter Cake]

– Vince Wilfork, Kevin Faulk and Randy Moss recently went snorkeling in the Bahamas. It’s the most football players wearing snorkels spotted in one place since the Vikings sex boat. As a helpful service to the people of the Bahamas who are concerned over Wilfork’s presence on the beach, I enclose this helpful graphic.

– Sticking with the theme of Patriots-related goings-on in exotic locales, Dreamboat is continuing his hard target search for Gisele’s ass in Costa Rica.

We’ll let you know if he finds anything. Or if Barstool gleefully posts any more naked pictures of their children.

– Our off-puttingly nice friends up in Canadia are now free to waste their money on shares of Packers stock. It’s a fair trade. We got universal health care. Now they get to get in on doin’ it the right way.

– One woman endeavors to rank NFL starting quarterbacks by their marriageability. Before you read further, I’ll go ahead and warn you that the author is of the belief that “Matty Ice” is a “super-cool nickname”.

[top pic via Getty]