“Get off! Nic Cage wants to steal that!”The NFL moved up its season kickoff game to Wednesday, Sept. 9 to avoid going against President Obama’s speech at the Democratic National Convention.
Liberals: “Obama single-handedly reduced the off-season! Four more years!”
Conservatives: “There goes Big Government, trying to push business around! NO THANKS, NOBAMA!”
[pic via]
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If he could shorten the offseason by one day every year…I’d consider making him emperor.
Haven’t you heard? If Obama is re-elected he will dispose of the 22nd Amendment and declare himself emperor. I read it on Worldnetdaily so it must be true.
Quick, someone photoshop said Keanu Reeves onto that bench!
*sad
How sad is it that that was my exact first thought when I saw the picutre?
Already been done.
StuScottBooyahs; you da man! You win, not sure what you win, but a win is a win.
Is that Mark Duplass on the bench? ( Pete from “The League”).
I thought it was Thomas Jane from Homeless Dad (“I just want my kids back!”) but Pete is a solid call.
I thought it was Peter Dinklage; but I have a different perspective.
One day earlier is one day earlier
And since it hasn’t shown up here yet, Peter King said (re: RGIII) the Rams have been talking draft pick trade with a team “you would never expect”. Well, I figured it out:
[twitpic.com]
I pity the fool that don’t draff R.G. Baracus … III.
You took an extra mile on a rough road to get to that pun, and godamnit, it was worth it.
What a stupid place for a bench.
Obama! Hike the damn ball!
FDR just wouldn’t stand for this kind of picture.
I know it’s not Deadspin, but I have to do it anyway: +1
We can’t ‘+1′ any more? Is it gauche now?
By the way, if you’ve never experienced the mouth-breathing majesty of McNaughton Art, I highly recommend it. All of his paintings — including this one — are interactive, and if you move the cursor over the image, you get treated to his Teatard take on American history.
My favorite part is how he says he made the painting because he was distressed about “a great polarizing effect taking place in America today.” Yes, because the best way to tone down polarization is to make an oil painting showing the president to be an uppity asshole who’s literally trampling on the Constitution.
JESUS CHRIST.
No, I mean, check out his other paintings. Jesus Christ, all over em.
Yeah, the “One Nation Under God” one is even better than Soccer Jesus here.
Jesus saves, but he also scores.
Why do I feel like the guy on the bench is saying “‘Dey took our jerbs”
Otto; that shit is pretty depressing.
In other news; the guy on the bench is totes stoned.
Soccer Jesus has nothing on LOL Jesus.
Jesus has nothing on his dad when it comes to competitions:
[www.heartofeugene.org]
I particularly love the fact that Jesus is wearing the common symbol of Ygdrassil, the world tree from Norse mythology.
you mean to “avoid getting crushed by football ratings,” right?
Football must be really popular if you have to move a football game in order for it not to get crushed by its own ratings.
Why is Teddy Roosevelt applauding?
Because Teddy Roosevelt, like Obama and FDR, hated the Constitution. McNaughton’s note explains that Teddy there supported “what would later be called the ‘welfare state’.”
I love the scare quotes around that term. You can practically see the eye-roll and wanking gesture.
I refuse to support any man who speaks poorly of Teddy Roosevelt. The guy wrestled grizzly bears and pissed whiskey
Also made the National Parks system a reality. According to sources he never pissed whiskey too close to the camp fire as others have.
The “Forgotten Man” should pull himself up and grab those loose bills and historical documents. He shouldn’t rely on the help of Big Government Undead Presidents.
I love the placement of Lincoln on the “Republican” side, as if he has anything in common with fucking Reagan other than the name of the party. Asshole.
I love the placement of Reagan looking like he gives a crap about a broke person. .
You should check his “One Nation Under God” painting; he shows the nonchristain founding fathers being all christian-ny.
Awww dammit, I was really trying to avoid that kind of comment.
I didn’t mean they ALL were non-christian, Porky.
No, no, Moose. Talking to myself. The founding fathers were good and righteous lovers of booze and poon.
Franklin would disagree; he would say poon and booze.
I wonder if that guy has a painting of Jefferson putting some cream in his coffee (dats raycess).
Lincoln, Reagan, Jefferson and Washington look like the worst barbershop quartet in history.
Correction, second worst. I forgot about Republican Voltron here. I wonder if Larry Craig took a wide stance when he sang?
Where is PolFlaWa?
On the other hand; even though it is a bit coincidental: football on that Wed. practically gives those teams two bye-weeks. Will this be enough for impeachment?
.
Alternate caption: “Dude, I spent HOURS on that.”
My only concern is what Calvin Coolidge says.
Alright let’s get the POFLAWA started: Andrew Jackson would kick Theodore Roosevelt’s ass in a fight.
Now we see the violence inherent in the system!
Here your god damn violence and you will fucking enjoy it.
Notice the type of animal:
Goes without saying, but:
Jackson’s beating down a would be assassin
Whoops, it didn’t post
Oh, yeah? Bigfoot.
50 pages people:
Teddy Roosevelt, who was president from 1901-1909, was shot by John Schrank while campaigned as the candidate of the new Progressive party on Oct. 14, 1912. His 50-page speech and glasses case slowed the bullet enough so that it entered his body, but did not penetrate the heart. Rather than go to the hospital, Roosevelt went on with the show.
“I don’t know whether you fully understand that I have just been shot; but it takes more than that to kill a Bull Moose,” Roosevelt said. “The bullet is in me now, so that I cannot make a very long speech, but I will try my best.”
He spoke for 90 minutes.
P.S. John Schrank was a fucking DICK.
Read pages 49-53:
[books.google.com]
/Sorry for the long link
//but the man loved to duel
I would have gone with a Battle of New Orleans post.
I was waiting to use it as a counter if you used charge of san juan hill.
I willing to call a truce, we can have Richard Nixon mediate:
John Schrank did better than the guy who tried to shoot Franklin Roosevelt just before he was inaugurated – Giuseppe Zangara fired five shots, all of which missed Roosevelt but he did manage to kill Chicago mayor Anton Cermak.
The Rough Riders business was more of a showboat, fun thing for him. The Battle of New Orleans had Jackson as the commander of the US forces, even though they hadn’t received news of the treaty yet, it still counts (’cause musket balls to the face ‘n’ shit).
Jackson would have HATED the Redskins.
/sorry
jackson knew how to throw a party. Including a big block of cheese:
/http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/First_inauguration_of_Andrew_Jackson
That was meant to be in the reply column in my other post.
Jackson had trouble posting too.
Although cheese, that much cheese; if he did that now he’d get 100% of the vote in Indianapolis.
/Unless Teddy countered with a gravy tanker.
In light of his stance on giant blocks of cheese, George Costanza would’ve been a big Jackson fan, I guess.
That must explain why he fought with the Van Buren boys.
Huh. I would’ve expected the Van Buren boys to intervene and stop Obama from stepping on the Constitution.
They are a fearsome bunch.
Looks like Jack Kennedy is ready to poon that old grey haired guy right in the butt. What a randy guy he was
I’m just glad it isn’t on NFL Network.
The debate below is moot. I’m taking Franklin D. Roosevelt for the motherfucking win.
I must counter with Lincoln.
Add this one in for good measure.
Checkmate.
I am not yet defeated.
All those Lincolns and not one Star Trek Lincoln?
/so sad
fun fact: The NFL has not played a game on Wednesday since 1948.
INTERESTING.
MAYBE.
From the Hitler School of Propaganda Art. Nice.