Name: Robert Griffin III
Age: 22

Position: Quarterback

School: Bay-lor
Year: Redshirt Junior

Bachelors degree: Political Science
Graduate degree: Masters in Communication coming soon

Height: 6’2″
Weight: 220 lbs

Son of a: Robert Griffin

Twitter: Can’t tweet, must study.

Potential Berman nicknames: Robert “Don’t Call Me Archie/Merv/Blake” Griffin, Three’s Company

Nicest comparison: Cam Newton
Meanest comparison: Andre Ware (of which there are plenty).
Colorblind analyst comparison: Steve Young

Strengths: Universal likability.
Weaknesses: Not Jewish (I’m reaching here).

Loved by: Blogger bros.
Hated by: The Media Takeout Betty patrol.

Sad anecdote that only makes him more likable: From Pablo Torre’s SI profile

Back at the Student Union, Griffin is still attempting to pull skeletons out of his closet. All that comes out, though, are action figures—a collection of about 1,000 (Dragon Ball Z, X-Men, pro wrestling). He keeps about 200 in a bag in his off-campus apartment but hasn’t actually played with any of them since enrolling in college. “After a while,” Griffin laments, “you just lose your imagination.”

Awwww-esome.

Relevant medical conditions: Tore an ACL in ’09

Interesting tidbit: Griffin proposed to his girlfriend by serenading her following a win over Kansas State, leaving us to wonder if he would have gone through with it had Baylor lost.

Totally random picture that pops up in Google Image Search: Barry Horowitz*

/pats self on the back for doing such extensive research

Who wants him: Washington and Cleveland
Who will take him: Cleveland
Why not Washington?: Because Mike Shanahan is positive that Rex Grossman is on the verge of a breakout year.

What scouts are saying: Let me sum it up with a word cloud of my own creation.

Immediate impact: “We finally have a quarterback!” -fans in Cleveland or Washington

Down the road: “Hey, this asshole isn’t entirely perfect!” -fans in Cleveland or Washington