Because of the holidays, we weren’t particularly vigilant about watching all of the internet’s new viral videos. And so we missed the runaway electric cart that plowed into a crowd of coaches and media following the Texas 5A Division II high school championship at Cowboys Stadium, even though our bros at With Leather posted a version of the video (no one was seriously injured, by the way). I have consumed this video in every way possible dozens of times, and it now powers my heart and moves the blood through my body. The acts of tragedy and heroism by be-khaki’d men is my new reason for living. For streamlined repeat viewing, enjoy it in GIF form (via Jon Bois’s excellent 50 Greatest Sports GIFs of 2011):
In the high-angle shot, you can see the cart stalk its prey like unsuspecting water buffalo on the Serengeti:
Note that the hero of the video, the guy in the dark blue polo shirt, begins his chase after the cart in the back corner of the end zone, but doesn’t catch it until the opposite 25-yard marker. That is an 85-yard dash for a stocky Texan. His tenacity and wherewithal in stopping the cart gets him first place in a viral video full of geniuses.
For good measure, here’s the “Ridin’ Dirty” remix:
Second place goes to the guy who ends up on the cart, tries to steer it, then rolls onto the field, as that was his only hope of survival. Third place goes to the fat guy in the white polo who rushes to help but trips on his own feet and falls down.
But really, we’re all winners here. Thank you, runaway electric cart. You are much more enjoyable when you create injuries on the field than when you carry them off.



Way to go Texas, you magnificent bastards. You’ve regained your Most Fucked Up State title. I can’t wait to see how Florida and Ohio respond to this in their high school championships.
Be-khaki’d men? Not looking forward to that Sexy Friday.
I think I saw this in a 007 movie. Helicopter, golf cart, same thing.
/Bond’d, James Bond’d
The best is when the guy in the gray sweatshirt gets run over, tumbles over backwards, loses his shoe, and then gets hurdled by a lady valiantly pursuing the cart. That lady deserves honorable mention for her dedication alone!
My sides are literally hurting from laughing while putting myself in the shoes of the guy who ended up on the cart. I wonder what goes through your mind after getting blindsided then ending up going for a ride through Cowboy stadium with your feet dangling over a runaway cart. “Time to roll out” I guess.
Dude should have been Hero #1.
I also love how the Remix still shot catches him in mid-rollout.
There he is, frozen in time and space just hanging there, caught forever between the moment when he decided to bail and the moment he hit the turf.
Comedy truly is tragedy that happens to other people.
I went back and watched it with the guy thinking “Time to roll out,” then rolling out.
Another level of hilarity entirely.
That cart could’ve been my ex…I went along for the ride, tried to steer, but prudently bailed and let a more manly man rein her in
This video had heart, but football to the groin had a football to the groin.
Also, if that had been in Wyoming where real cowboys live, that cart would have been ridden for 8 seconds then some clowns would have jumped in to stop it.
I saw that video on some pay site, but it also had midgets, jusayin.
Is hero #1 also the dipshit who probably tossed a yard marker into the cart and wedged it on the accelerator thus starting the cart to moving?
Hero #2 also qualifies as coward #1. Why just limp dick it off the side? lolz
It was clearly sabotage. We’ve all seen the movies, wedging down the gas pedal is a textbook move.
This just ruined midget bowling for me forever! ROONED!
And it’s on the 50! The 40! The 30! Next up: Pepsi truck on offense.
The Pepsi truck has been training with Mark Sanchez. I will take the runaway cart with the points.
No Yakety Sax? Come on.
The guy who rolled out of the cart’s favorite director? Michael Bay.
I did that same exact move during the DEN/KC game…… from my couch.
Best run by a Cowboy not named DeMarco Murray all season. Shit.
There’s so many layers. So many things to see and laugh at.
Not to mention better plot coherence than a Michael Bay movie…
this requires Beef Moe aka Skitlz
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UqMsT_2teus
The riding durrty/roll out remix FTMFW. The Double J was definitely controlling that cart from Vag Force One high over the Megaplex.
This is like the Bermuda Triangle area of coaches:
http://articles.nydailynews.com/1996-11-17/sports/18022388_1_gil-haskell-packers-coach-mike-holmgren-nfl-sidelines
This is the difference between the pros and college; Sean Peyton at least ripped some tendons.
I love the fact that the regular looking guy who eventually stops the cart is able to overtake the thing fairly easily. The fastest that thing could have been moving is maybe 10mph.
So much awesome contained in a single video.
Proving that only 1 in 20 Texans can run fast enough to catch a golf cart.
I can predict the future:
http://kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com/2011/12/one-way-ticket-to-snubtown-breaking-down-the-pro-bowl-rosters.html
If you feel the need to bail out of a moving cart go limp like a dummy. Maybe someone will try to catch you because hey, free dummy.
Well played.
And now Deep Thoughts, by Spanky Datass… Well done.
So Denzel’s playing dark blue polo guy in the movie, right?
The Honking! The Honking!
I like to imagine the guy who trips over his own feet muttering “daawwww, horsefeathers!” as the cart slowly rolls away from him, his moment of heroism lost forever.
GOOD GOSH ALMIGHTY! I DUN WET MA BRITCHES!
Goddamnit, you beat me to it.
I feel like I wanna throw up.
Yeah, it’s a good thing that guy rolled out of the cart. It looked like it was going to flip over and blow up any second. At the very least, his underwear would have been soiled.
That was all sorts of awesome!
I’m willing to believe that Jerry has radio-control over every cart in his Megaplex and is doing this for his own private amusement.
“Watch ol’ Double J take out that group of faties… Take that Ed Wade wantabe’s!
YEAA HAW I’M FUCKING CRAZY”
The guy who bails reacts to the situation in the exact same manner I would expect Peter King to react to all situations in his life.
Runaway cart better get some consideration for this week’s Meast.
+1
I heard Dan Snyder has offered the cart a four-year, $54 million contract.
I kept hearing the sound of a bowling ball knocking over a punch of pins when the cart hits the 50 yard line.
What was the guy thinking when he bailed out 30?