Hearing my fave, #18 Peyton Manning will not return to #NFL. Wow. #Colts
— Rob Lowe (@RobLowe) January 18, 2012
This is literally the worst day of Jay Glazer and Adam Schefter’s respective careers.
Image via Indy Star.
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this is sadder than requiem for a tuesday if your a colts fan.
A couple of thoughts from the Resident Fat Humps Troll.
- Lowe and Irsay are friends. So it’s possible that Irsay could have let it slip and everyone is now doing damage control.
- It is also equally possible Rob Lowe is completely full of shit. In fact, I’d say this is at least 27.9% more likely that he’s right.
- If Manning retires, I don’t expect the Colts to retain Wayne, Mathis, Saturday, Clark, or any of the other Manning-era guys.
- Even if Manning retires, we still get Andrew Luck. Suck it.
- If Manning doesn’t retire, we still get Andrew Luck. He just gets to ride the bench and learn for two years before he gets the keys to the Camaro.
Long story short, the Colts are gonna be just fine.
It will be a while before the Colts are contenders even if Luck is good, especially if they get rid of several of the FAs mentioned.
Cuntler; I think Luck is better NOW than any of those guys except for Palmer, which I really wouldn’t include in that group. That being said; Gravy Nation deserves a bad team around Luck with many sacks, interceptions with receivers running the wrong routes, and a defenseless defense.
What Cuntler said.
But see Leaf, Ryan; Smith, Akili; Russel, JaMarcus; Lienart, Matt; Sanchez, Mark; Palmer, Carson; etc.
God damn it, much as I hate the humps, Manning was our best shot to wipe out Favre’s records.
Thank you Cuntler.
I thought Grey Dick was Favre; maybe he is Grey Pubes? Sorry for any grey genital or crotch confusion.
But Favre went out with much more style:
http://images.publicradio.org/content/2010/12/21/20101221_favre-sacked_33.jpg
/I will take any opportunity to post this.
I thought THE BEN was Greydick? Do they both have that odd discoloration?
Agreed, Fetus was a much better QB than Greydick.
If this is incorrect, I’m definitely blaming Jerry.
jerry’s fault! jerry’s fault!
Will Rob Lowe star in a remake of DEEP THROAT?
http://profootballtalk.nbcsports.com/2012/01/18/jim-irsay-takes-the-rob-lowe-story-to-a-new-level/
MAYBE
Florio nugget
Better career to this point: Fetus Head or Dreamboat Troll? I’d say Brady even though Brady is more influenced by the dark side (coach). Fetushead is a better KSK Kharacter tho.
D’OH!!!
The Donks should pick up local college star Caleb Hanie as a back-up. I hear he’s really good.
That is why I’d pick Brady. I would have to say the Pats teams in those games were stronger than the Colts teams. Both HoF….. and we have Tebow, me has teh sad.
Brady won 3 superbowls against decent teams (Rams, Eagles, Panthers). Manning beat the Sex Cannon-lead Bears, so there is that. Both are really fucking good though.
MB hasn’t commented? But but but…. he was just here a few days ago!
Still not as sad as Li’l Sebastian dying
No soy milk latte could cure Peyton’s broken heart.
my best friend’s mother makes $86 hourly on the laptop. She has been without a job for 7 months but last month her pay was $8825 just working on the laptop for a few hours. Read more on this web site… LazyCash10.com
“That is LITERALLY the dumbest thing I’ve ever seen!”
Rob Lowe broke the news that Peyton was breaking up with the Colts so nicely that Irsay didn’t realize this until 2 weeks later.
Chris Mortensen reporting a massive upsurge in trips to Steak n’ Shake and gravy consumption in Fat Humpville.
Peter King has a legit, 40% nugget that the Colts are considering bringing in his good friend from NBC Tiki Barber as new head coach, starting quarterback, and running back. MAYBE.
“Give me all of the gravy and ice cream you have. Do you understand?”
Next up, Rob’s gonna awkwardly inject himself between Eli and Peyton’s customary handshake.
“Brothers don’t shake hands…brothers gotta hug!”
R.I.P.
he was like a coach, on the field…as a Colt he was always such, to the delight of his morbidly obese and inbred redneck fuckups that live in southern Indiana.
DE-CAF DE-CAF
AFC South defenses react: http://twitpic.com/88vquf
maybe he should be telling Eli to Stop. Pooping. instead
If this turns out to be the case, I am greatly amused the great Pey-Pey’s last start in the NFL end in the most rare of ways, a Nick Folk Game winning FG.
I will always remember Pey-Pey’s flabbergasted look when Caldwell called that timeout
CUT THAT MEAT! CUT THAT MEAT!
Maybe Mark Wahlberg can prevent this from happening.
he didn’t prevent The Happening, so I doubt it.
/joke stolen from NY Magazine’s Daily Intel comments
Oh God, if Fetushead really quits on the Colts and doesn’t come back until they retire his number – essentially, if he refuses to help them groom Luck – he’ll redeem himself totally and utterly in my esteem.
/not really
/OK, at least halfway
According to Chris Mortenson, Rob Lowe is going to play Jerry Sandusky in a Lifetime Movie.
Mr. Lowe sure seems to enjoy pawing that young man standing in front of him. I always knew a guy that good looking was an ass bandit.
Also, eat it Humps. You’ve been crowing about Fivehead for years, now, in the words of Social Distortion, “You’re down here with the rest of us”
Rob Lowe … more accurate in his scoops than PFT. Even if he’s dead wrong.
Chris Mortensen is reporting that Peyton Manning has won the 2011 NFL MVP.
Good nugget. LOFTY nugget.
Peyton’s actions have wounded Mr. Traeger to his core. Which is not easy since the bulk of his workouts are focused on core strengthening
STOP. SCOOPING.
He also had a message for Eli, “stop pooping.”
Damn, I knew I was too late to make this joke.
I really hope this is true. Not because it would destroy Monkey Business, but because Rob Friggen’ Lowe will have broken the news and scooped everyone.
The thing King can do better than Lowe: tweet with balls on his forehead.
He is both handsomer AND a better writer than Peter King.
/applies same compliment to next 100 people he randomly encounters
Hearing my fave, #18 Peyton Manning will not return to #NFL.
Instead, he has signed a 7-year, $50 million contract to play for the New York Red Bulls.
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This is LITERALLY the saddest news I have ever heard.
/not really, suck it humps
Down goes Battleship Manning!