INEVITABLE BUT MILDLY ENTERTAINING: NMA offers its take on the Colts firing Jim Caldwell and Rob Lowe tweeting about Peyton Manning’s retirement. Little-known fact: Manning’s neck injury was the result of a lightning strike.

FLIPPING OUT. Dust off your five-year-old “Bengals are criminals jokes”: Jerome Simpson has reportedly been indicted for trafficking marijuana. That’s a Class D felony, 1-5 years in the clink, and the sternest possible frown from Roger Goodell.

LOL BIDEN: Joe Biden told a bunch of 49ers fans that the Giants were going to the Super Bowl, because the San Francisco Giants are a team that exists. Let Obama handle the sports stuff, big guy.

AND MEDIOCRE SKATEBOARD RIDER, TOO. A Ravens fan complained to the organization that Joe Flacco was riding a skateboard. You’re doing it wrong, Joe. Champions ride scooters.