This Texan plays for Rice. Uncle Ben’s preferably–he loves that stuff.

Here are the 4pm games, graded on the four-star rating system that drew your name in the office secret santa:

Chicago at Denver ***
Mike Martz has vowed to open up the offense this weekend. So lots of interceptions by Mr. Hanky. Also, Tebow will tebow the tebow out of those tebowing tebows.

Buffalo at San Diego **
This is probably the final deathwatch for Norv Turner in the NFL. I’m feeling a little nostalgic, yall.

San Francisco at Arizona **
Sure this is a lackluster slate of late-afternoon games, but have you heard about the shit-sandwich they’re serving up for tomorrow night? I’d rather watch that armadillo GIF for three hours.

Oakland at Green Bay ****
Look for an upset.


For all the Cowboys fans who might be reading.