The weekly Meast post is one of our favorite spots for an off-topic rant, and I’d like to take this opportunity to share my list of the five laziest words in sports commentary (phony/fraud/punk/clown/thug). It’s inspired by stupid people talking loudly, which is my least favorite thing on the planet after puppies dying and female circumcision. Though in some ways, dead puppies and female circumcision are better than stupid people talking loudly. They are, at the very least, less prevalent. ANYHOO, go read it and share it and stop watching “Around the Horn.”

Your Sean Taylor Memorial Meast for Week 15 is, as the banner image suggests, Calvin Johnson, who had nine receptions for 214 yards and two TDs in Oakland, including the game-winner and several huge catches in the fourth quarter. Also receiving votes: Drew Brees, Aldon Smith, Roddy White, and… Reggie Bush? That can’t be right.

Keep reading for a very special Least:

SURPRISE! Todd Haley wins the Jeff George Memorial Least of the Week in absentia. Haley was such a horrifically shitty asshole coach that he got replaced by ROMEO FUCKING CRENNEL and the players were STILL so inspired for him to be gone that they made Aaron Rodgers look downright human while dominating the Packers juggernaut. What a useless, hateful shithead.

Also receiving Least votes: Caleb Hanie, the entire Giants roster, Tim Tebow*, assorted Jets, and Aaron Rodgers*.

*troll votes