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You probably can’t read the tag on that bear’s paw, but it says £1900. That’s about $3000 in non-Harry Potter money for an over-sized version of the famed Harrods bear, making it the perfect Unnecessary Purchase for Christmas time (even though it’s owned by those World Cup thieving Qataris).

My wife dragged me through Harrods during an extended layover in London earlier this year, and let me say, that place is the worst. Every department is more depressing than the last. But if you want to feel really shitty about the world, head right for the children’s departments. Whether its $1100 for a three year-old’s dress or $5600 for a toy pedal car, it’s enough to make you want to occupy something. So if you’re ever in London, stay the hell away from this place. Except for the food court. Because holy sh*t, the food court, you guys!

Last week: 8-7-1
Overall: 103-108-4

One step closer to .500!

Houston at Indianapolis +6.5

Damn it. I knew the Colts were going to win outright and I still didn’t pick them in my pool. I’m such a pussy.

Arizona +4 at Cincinnati

Can the Buzzsaw make it five in a row? Maybe!

St. Louis at Pittsburgh

Most places haven’t posted a line, and frankly, I could do without picking this one.

Denver -2.5 at Buffalo

Shocking news out of western New York, nobody wants to watch the Bills play. If the second coming of Jesus Christ playing football on Christmas Eve isn’t enough to get people’s asses in the seats, I say let Canada have them.

New York Giants +3 at New York Jets

I know of a few Kansas City fans who will be watching the game while wearing this shirt.

Jacksonville at Tennessee -7.5

By far my least favorite game of the week. I hate the Titans. They inspire zero faith whatsoever. But betting on Yo Gabba Gabbert is not an option.

Miami at New England -10

I can’t believe that the Patriots are talking about restructuring their entire front seven because of an injury to Andre Carter. It’s just Andre Carter, guys.

Cleveland +13 at Baltimore

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Oakland at Kansas City -2

Both of these teams can still make the playoffs. The AFC West is a god damn mess.

Minnesota +6.5 at Washington

Fucking Matt Barkley. Without him in the draft the Redskins are never going to have a shot at RG3. They may as well just win.

Tampa Bay at Carolina -7.5

I fucking love the Panthers. Cam Newton is a joy to watch, and Ron Rivera actually ran the Annexation of Puerto Rico in last week’s game. Plus, they used to have those lesbian cheerleaders, who the other cheerleaders probably called “Icebox.”

San Diego +3 at Detroit

The Lions need a win (or a bunch of help) against the Chargers or the Packers to get to the playoffs. It would be a very Detroit thing to do to lose both of them.

Philadelphia +3 at Dallas

It’s like the Oakland/KC game, only we’re supposed to care for some reason.

San Francisco -2 at Seattle

Beast Mode runs on the power of Skittles, which is funny, because “Taste the rainbow” is the city of San Francisco’s unofficial motto.

Chicago at Green Bay -13

Pride? Yes. Let’s go with that. Should be good enough for two touchdowns.

Atlanta at New Orleans -7

Wow, what a great Monday Night game. Let’s all thank FOX for protecting the Jets/Giants and/or Cowboys/Eagles over this game. I’m pretty sure that’s how it works. Maybe.