As I watched the pregame show for “Football Night in America” on Sunday, I fully expected the crew to dramatically shift course from the “Tim Tebow is a born winner” refrain to the more reasonable “Oh right, Tim Tebow can only lob knuckleballs in a general direction, which isn’t a desirable trait for a professional quarterback.” But that didn’t happen. Tony Dungy and Rodney Harrison both faulted the entire Broncos team for the blowout against the Lions, and Harrison pinned additional blame on the defense for “allowing 45 points.”
First of all, the Broncos defense — while by no means good — gave up 31 points, not 45. Two of those touchdowns were scored by the Lions defense on Tebow turnovers, the latter of which was a terrible goal-line throw that went 100 yards the other way. Tebow was sacked seven times for the second week in a row. His throws are wobbly and off-target. It’s obvious to the most casual observer that he’s overwhelmed by the pro game.
You know, if you want to blame John Fox for not simplifying the game plan enough, that’s an argument that can at least be backed up with evidence. But Tony Dungy was an NFL coach! Rodney Harrison played in the NFL for 15 years! Don’t lie to us, you assholes. We have EYES. We can SEE Tebow playing like dogshit. It’s right there on the TV, every play that isn’t him running the option.
Anyway, your co-Measts this week are Tebow-Smashers Cliff Avril and Stephen Tulloch. Avril had two sacks and two forced fumbles, one of which he recovered and returned for a touchdown. Tulloch had six tackles, a sack, and did this:
HOWEVER, Tim Tebow is NOT the Least of the Week. That honor goes to Philip Rivers. As much as we enjoy a terrible performance from start to finish (cc: Drew Brees), what we TRULY appreciate are boneheaded, costly errors when they matter most. Sure, we laughed at Rivers’s two interceptions and the way every other drive stalled out in field goal range, but fumbling the snap in the final minute before the kicker could come on to win the game was absolutely sublime. Mazel tov, King Laserface! Your worst day ever is our great delight.
Rivers becomes the second player to be named Least two times this season. Your move, Tony Romo.
I want more like this!
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